efforts.

it's always about the way we present ourselves.

and for that, i dont really believe in fate or fortune.

i believe in efforts, instead.

i do, really.



p/s - was really surprised when mom and bro told me they actually read my blog. think i should write safe next time. hmm. :P


[Photo taken by Natura Classica loaded with Kodak EBX 100, cross processed.]

你好吗?

好久没写东西了,


因为我很忙,我自己说的.


受不了控制,有很多复杂的因素,


我好累。


很想问问自己，你还好吗?


累吗?


抱歉哦，每次都让你硬撑，


辛苦你了.

i miss you.

那天穿越云海，多么希望能看见你。

我好想你，你知道吗？

一年前你还安慰我说，不哭不哭；

一年后的我还是不小心让泪水糊了双眼。

不过却再也听不到你的安慰。

我好想你，好想好想你 。

p/s - 外公。

[Photo taken by Natura Classica loaded with Lomography CN 800 negative.]

always there*一直都在

went back to dad's hometown yesterday.

昨天陪爸爸回去家乡一趟

dad brought me to the place he used to stay when he was young.
爸爸带我去看看他的老家

a ruined old house.
一个已经荒废的家

while dad was telling me a lot of stories, i whispered,
当爸爸兴致勃勃地告诉我很多很多的往事，我轻声说，

'thank you'.
感恩。

thank you, old house.
感谢老家。

thank you, old times.
感谢岁月。

thank you, daddy.
感谢爸爸。


the visit led me into a deep thought.
认真地想了一想，

how often we blame time for snatching memories, stuffs, materials...?
我们常常责怪岁月冲淡了某些回忆，淘汰的某些东西，

and how often we thank time for leading us through those bad days, helping us to grow?
我们可曾感谢岁月，让我们走出低潮，让我们成长？

afterall, time makes us alive. :)
原来是岁月让我们活着。


其实，岁月并没有偷走什么

就好像，不管阴天雨天晴天春天夏天秋天冬天，白昼或黑夜，

其实，太阳一直都在。

p/s - haven't really got use to Natura Classica yet. :( oh well anyone looking for instant cameras or lomo cameras and films? please support IS NOT A TOY.

(Photo taken by Fuji Natura Classica loaded with Lomography Color Negative 800.)

给某人

曾经曾经,

你是否也和我一样，憧憬着那美好的未来，想要追逐那所谓的梦想?

几时几时,

你也奢求那些所谓伟大的爱情，同时高喊友谊万万岁?

那时那时,

你有没有站在十字路口,双手捂住耳朵只想听到自己的声音?

随着年龄增长,你是否发现,

那所谓的未来,永远都未来,不会来; 那所谓的梦想,也只是梦里所想.

那所谓伟大的爱情,有时也只会是你的负担; 那所谓的友情,根本不可能万岁.

还有,你以为自己真的可以做自己,不受别人影响吗?

未来如果来了,就不会是未来.

现在就好像一条绳子,绑住了你我的双脚,我们再怎么摆动双翼，都无法飞翔。

在你梦的同时，现实就狠狠地一巴一巴的掴下去，惊醒了你我。

爱情无法养饱人,可是却很多人饥渴地想得到它,它到底哪里伟大啦?

友谊既然不可能万岁,我们又何必说谎.

做自己虽然很酷,不过其实也很苯.

我说呀,事情不用样样近距离对焦,偶尔把镜头距离拉长,你会发现,现实和眼光就是你的光圈和闪光灯.

现实和自己不断拉扯.

还有还有,很多事情都不急于一时,你会拥有的,等时机一到握紧拳头就会有;不会来的,强求也只会有空气从指缝溜过.


这几年学到的,可能我还没到那个可以分享人生历练的年龄,


不过,还是想在这里说一说我的看法.哈哈.

p/s - 你我都被现实谋杀了！

*发现其实自己写的东西结构都很差，很乱！我会尽量改进！哈哈哈！*

p/s again - 韦礼安你的专辑真的有必要那么好听哦！害我每次驾车都很不专心！哈哈哈！

[Photo taken by LC-A+ loaded with Fuji Velvia 100F]

一路走来

突然在书柜里抽出了一本十年前很熟悉，可是现在却陌生的很的书--小学个人资料册。


一页一页的翻阅着，


回忆，一幕一幕地播映着。


2001年至今，整整十年了！


册子里的自愿，我填了设计师。


而现在的我正在修读土木工程，也算是马路，建筑结构设计师吧？


朋友写的自愿有医生，律师，警察，甚至连专业吉他手的也有。


我的小学同学们，你们还好吗？


请恕我孤僻，而且不擅长与旧朋友保持联络。


只愿你们都安好。




p/s - 最近和小黑的感情还不错。最近的标题和内容都有一点不搭嘎，对不起。是因为都是写了标题，选了图才写内容的。i promise, an english post soon. :) 这几天睡前想到外公，眼眶还是湿的。



(Photo taken by LC-A+ loaded with Fuji T60 Pro)

爱*love

人的心，就只有拳头般的大小，
a heart is only as small as a fist


为什么我们往往都被怨恨蒙蔽了双眼，
why do we often get blindfolded by hatred?


让怨恨住进了那小小的空间？
why do we often allow our hearts to be filled with hatred?


希望，
hope that,


趁还能呼吸，还有能力的时候，
while we are still breathing, still having the ability to love,


爱。
please love.


只有爱。
only love.



p/s - please love and have no regrets.



(Photo taken by LC-A+ loaded with Fuji Velvia 100F)

我还在学！

很久没有真正写东西了。

如果你问我，来到英国学到了什么？
我会告诉你，是人生与生活。

自从进了大学后，我自认成绩一直都不差，
不过在上一个学期，我的成绩让人感到失望。
当然，起初我一直责怪自己做得不够好。
不过，当我冷静下来想一想，找一找，
我看到了我对土木工程的热忱，
朋友都说我可能是在催眠自己。或许吧。不过我从中四开始就想念土木工程，这是一个事实。
我顿时觉得自己是幸福的。
活得有热忱，才是人生嘛！

成绩？也只不过是数字。
所谓的成与败也只不过是比较出来的吧？
与其拿成绩这一把尺来衡量一个人，
不如我们真的仔细观察一个人的全部吧。

我一直都觉得有人的地方就会有人事问题。
来了英国，我一再地跟朋友说，
如果你人品糟糕，又有谁会看见你的成绩呢？
其实，人与人的相处才是我们每个人该修的课。
这一门课，我们永远都修不完。

前几天跟朋友谈起人生百态。
这一段时间我真的领略到真正的一种米养百种人。
你永远没可能完全了解一个人，每个人都有让你出乎预料的时候。
所以，那些无所谓的衡量，那些尺，其实没有必要太在意。
你们有试过判一个人死刑（加上标签）吗？
我发觉，这样只会让你错过很多美好的人事物。
试着去接受任何一种人，找出适当的相处方式。

最近的我，很好。
EQ好像有进步了。
还有还有，热忱满满的！
这一路，或许会埋怨，不过我很感恩~



这些，是我最近学到的生存之道。



p/s - 觉得我应该多一点阅读。写得乱七八糟的~ 还有我想说，我知道朋友都很关心我，不过有些事情，我会自己处理的。谢谢。



p/s again - 最近很欣赏的歌手--张心杰。 :) 对了，我有买孙燕姿的《是时候》，很棒！那应该是本年度我最爱的专辑吧。去年最爱方大同《Timeless》。 对了，我一时兴起注册了微博，jhen89，关注我吧！


(为了纪念我LC-A+，这一篇我不加照片。)

抛物线

i have been really really busy these days.
projects, assignments and courseworks. (and dramas as well. oops.)

i am sorry that i didn't update my blog as usual as i used to. :(
and guess what, i haven't even start researching for photolabs who do film processing around nottingham. sigh, anybody can give me any guidance?

went to the cheshire oak designer outlet last week and had really great fun shopping there. lol. do not ask how much i have spent there, please.
here is one of the photos taken in the i-don't-know-where-is-it train station, named Stockport. lol.




and this train station comes with a platform number zero. yea, zero.
we thought we were supposed to bang the column in order to board the train, like the harry potter does. lol. non sense. but i was really surprised to see a platform zero. hahaha or maybe im just one of the kampung girl who hasn't done exploring the UK. lol.

recently i got really really addicted into Tanya Tsai's album, 抛物线. yea, i know it's not a new album, but still, it's super nice. hahaha. now i understand why she won the best female singer in taiwan. her songs are just, heart-touching.

aaaah. random much. lol.


p/s - don't think about only me, reverse the 'm' and think about we. yea, im annoyed by selfish people recently. lol.

(Photo taken by Olympus PEN E-PL1)

desire vs reality

recently my friends and i often get into this topic while we are chatting.
the desire. and the reality.
desire doesn't only include dreams, but it also cover the hopes, wishes and expectations as well.
dreams are big, hopes are great, wishes are good and expectations are high.
but the reality always hit them down. just too bad. :(


i think this is when good characteristics play their roles.
we need determination to carry on, motivation to burn the spirit, toleration to understand the situation, etc etc.
and finally, it's about faith.
i always believe that if we have faith in ourselves, nothing is impossible.
just like before the Wright brothers invented aeroplanes, who ever agree that flying is possible?
they must had HUGE faith in themselves. lol.


don't restrain yourselves from dreaming BIG. we only live once, there's no second chance for you to dream.
and if you have found your desire, have faith in yourselves and work towards it.
make your desire a winner of reality instead of a victim of reality.


now, what is your desire? or what are your desires? :)

love the convocation scene in 'Drumline' where the principal tells,

'Always believe that, YOU CAN FLY!'.

p/s - thanks to leeahmuk who made me tak boleh tahan, at last i bought a pop9 gold. not with me yet, will be collecting it from her next week. my next lomography desire - Diana Mini White. im writing articles in lomography.com to get more piggies! :) anyway, im selling my dianaF+ (without flash) and Fuji Instax Mini 7s, please leave a message if you are interested. why? because i think i can't be able to bring them to UK and why not sharing the lomo fun? PC Fair is near and i hope to get my pen pen soon. muahahaha!

(Photo by Fuji Instax Mini 7s, sharpness edited with Flickr.com's picnik.)

Departures*おくりびと

'Departures', known as 'おくりびと' in japanese, was the (japanese, of course) movie i have watched last few days, alone, and got touched.
this movie was the winner of 2009 academy award for best foreign language movie.
this movie didn't make me cry like i did for 'Echoes of the Rainbows'.
but it led me into thoughts for a few days.

what is death for u?
a lost? an end? a relief?
or is it a gain? a start? a pain?
we know that death is a definite event of life, but how should we face it?
this movie really changed my point of views for death.
u got to watch this movie to feel what i feel. :)

besides that, i learn to appreciate people around me more, after watching this movie.
appreciate them, before they are gone, forever.
what can be worse than death?
it's time to think, and to put down those hatred, jealousy and greed.

after all, it's really an excellent movie.
one point to mention - music of the movie was composed and arranged by Joe Hisaishi.
beautiful music by Joe Hisaishi

this is the theme song of 'Departures', instrumental version. if u want the vocal version of the song, just search for 'AI - Okuribito' in youtube.

愛は刃物より

胸につきささる

そして「いつかまた会おうの。」と...
Love pierces the heart
More so than any knife
And then saying "Let's meet again some day"...

will i be missed if i die someday?
appreciate people around u, my friends. :)

p/s - im sorry if this post sounds really sad. lol. i just wanted to introduce this good movie to u. :) and i realized that movies with slower pace are more suitable for me. lol.

(Photo taken by LC-A+ loaded with Kodak EBX 100, cross processed.)

happiness in life.

life recently is good.
passionate is the best word to describe the current me.
see the description i wrote for myself on the left.
lomography, marching bands, wind orchestra.
what could be better than having all three of them during my summer break?

lomography is one of the hobbies i picked up during my early university days. it's been around 2 years, i think? and im still loving it. :) ask me how many cameras do i have now. and i am still considering to expand the collection. muahaha.

marching bands and wind orchestra. i've skipped the national competition for two years and last week, i drove all the way to shah alam alone, to watch this year's national competition. (and luckily it was held in selangor this time.) found back my love and interest for marching bands. awww. i remember ahmuk and i promised each other that we will both travel to the states one day to watch DCI Championship. haha.

erm, no i don't hate my studies. i love the course that i'm doing.
civil engineering is my dream since form 4. and i proved my passion for it through my results. HAHA.
yay, first class! :P

even though boredom strikes, once in a while during this summer break,
but i'm still feeling happy. this is the happiest summer break ever? haha.
with him, best buddies, lomo and bands around. awwww. how nice.

'爱你所选，选你所爱'

快乐和幸福，原来就是因为爱。

love what you choose,choose what you love.

now i know, happiness is all about love. :)

p/s - gonna go for Nanta Cookin' show with my bffs on this saturday! wohoho! that's why i said, life's so good now.



(Photo taken by LC-A+ loaded with Fuji Velvia 100F, cross processed.)

passion and memories.

attended the St Mary's School Band 1st concert last saturday.
i burst into tears during the encore pieces.
flashbacks of those days kept playing in my mind.
my seniors, juniors and bandmates of my batch,
the practices, parades and performances,
the tears, sweats and joy,
the obstacles, passion, and teamwork.
all of these kept playing in my mind during the concert.
i felt really touched when i came to realize that the band has gone this far.
the girls have made it. they have made the school and the ex-members proud.

as the saying goes,
rome wasn't built in one day.
years back, st mary's band was still a band that people would look down on.
but now, the band has got much better.
the band didn't just improve in a blink of eye. it was the passion and efforts by all the members throughout these years.
and not to forget our dedicated instructor, Mr. Sunny Hoh.
Sir, 7 years ago you came to take over the band. there were ups and downs throughout these 7 years. even i myself have thought of giving up. but u never.
u even encouraged us to carry on.
we are glad that we have you, for these 7 years, sir.
i'm here to express my appreciation to all members of the band and Mr. Sunny Hoh, thanks for bringing me such a wonder night, a walk down my memory lane.

and thanks, for bringing back my passion.
life is so wonderful if we are living with passion. :)

congratulations St Mary's School Band!
one peak conquered! let's achieve another higher peak.
us ex-members will always be with u.
anyway, ex-members, something is cooking, please join THIS.
please leave your emails and contact numbers in the discussion board so i can send out my proposal to u ASAP.
a tough challenge is awaiting, but i have faith and passion.
and i hope u too. :)

a walk down my memory lane.

p/s - when i received the sms from sir on saturday midnight, i almost burst into tears again. thanks mr. sunny. thanks. salute! :)

(Photo by LC-A+ loaded with Agfa APX 400, black and white processed.)

life*人生

每个人的人生，都有一段片刻在等，那叫做过渡期。我安慰自己
每个人的人生，都有一段考验在等，那叫做别放弃。我激励自己
-严爵《困在台北》
there are blank moments in one's life, and that is the transitional period. i console myself.
there are challenges in one's life, and that is the determination period. i motivate myself.

the sun sets, then rises. and it sets again.
still, life goes on no matter what right? :)

i'm currently learning how to let go things.
especially anger.
i need more positive energy. :)

*determination period means the period where determination is needed the most. lol. i kno, bad translation, i kno.


p/s - as i kno, results will be out like, reaaaaaaaaaaaal soon. i admit, i did not do well in the exams. my bad my bad. :( anyway, the Olympus PEN E-PL1 is on the top of my wishlist now. ish. this little micro four thirds camera is poisonous!

(Photo by LC-A+ loaded with Fuji Astia 100, cross processed.)

believe.

heard Simon Yam (任达华) on myfm just now.
he quoted one of the very meaningful sentences from the movie, Echoes of the Rainbow (岁月神偷).


"做人，总要信......"
"to live, we must believe...." he said.

true enough.

when u feel obstacles are hitting u down,
or life just doesn't seem to be going your way,
always remember this quote.
we must believe, to live on.
just believe in yourselves. :)
because we are not gonna live once more again.

做人，总要信......

一步难，一步佳......难一步，佳一步......



(Photo by LC-A+ loaded with Fuji Sensia 200, cross processed.)

united and strong.

i remember someone once asked me, why did u choose civil engineering?
for me, teamwork is one of the reasons. :)
my involvement in school band during high school actually made a huge contribution in this.
the SMK St. Mary's school band was not really good.
in fact, the condition was really kinda bad when i first joined.
imagine having only 7 to 9 members attended the holiday practices. do u call that bad? :P
oh well, im still glad that i was part of the team.
during our time, the committees worked really hard to get whatever was possible.
we joined competitions even though we knew we sucked (so badly), we went for national day parade march pasts, we attended lessons, music exchange sessions, training camps etc etc.
of course, we got hit down by obstacles too sometimes.
to maintain a band is hard, moreover, we were trying to improve it.
when we were on the verge of giving up, our coach, told us not to.
he encouraged us to carry on. and we did. :)
when i left the band, the band really improved, i wouldn't say a lot, but they really improved.

sometimes im thankful that i joined the band. because i've learnt a lot.
i've learnt how to maximize my determination when i encounter tough situations.
and most importantly, i learnt to play in a team.
or in other words, i learnt to appreciate the beauty of teamwork. :)
flutes, clarinets, saxophones, horns, trumpets, euphoniums, trombones and tubas having different tunes and tones, playing their respective scores, and by combining them, a beautiful piece of music is produced.
amazing, i think.

for construction, the same theory applies.
no single engineer is able to build a building alone.

'united and strong',
this is the first line of our school song.
yes, get united and strong.
you will be amazed by teamwork.

'united and strong'

nevertheless, my involvement in school band has brought me a group of really good friends. :)

p/s - the girls are gonna have their first concert ever! 26th June 2010, 8p.m, St. Mary's school hall. anybody interested to tag along? let me know. :)

(Photo by LC-A+ loaded with Lomo X-Pro 100, cross processed.)

Echoes of the Rainbow*岁月神偷

之前在Facebook看见很多朋友给了这电影很高的评价，
不过那时因为准备考试，电影下档了都没有机会去看。
最后，在朋友再度介绍之下，买了DVD 来看。

昨晚一个人把这电影给看完了。
这部大概2小时长的电影，让我哭足1小时。
看完后眼泪还是无法停止。

《岁月神偷》是一部很简单的电影。
没有高科技的点缀，也不是什么庞大制作。
不过，导演的拍摄方式非常细腻，
有好几幕，看到画面，我就直接流泪了。

如果你问我，对这部电影有何感想，
我觉得我回答不到。
这部电影带来了巨大的内心波动，百感交集，
说真的，我到现在都还没能用言语形容，那时什么感觉。

“在幻变的生命里，岁月，原是最大的小偷......”
仔细想一想，我们在那不曾停止的岁月里，得到了什么？
而它，又从我们身上偷走了什么？

不告诉你们故事大纲，如果有兴趣，你们自己看。
这真的是一部好电影。
一个人看，一个人沉思。
再和家人一起看。

在此送上电影主题曲和片段。 :)

不回想 不回答

不回憶 不回眸

反正也不回頭

-李治廷《岁月轻狂》

p/s - im sorry for all my readers who don't read chinese. basically this is a post regarding the movie, "Echoes of the Rainbow" that i've watched yesterday. I truly recommend this movie. It's a simple movie, but will lead you to think in a great depth. As said in the movie, 'in this unpredictable life, time, no doubt is the biggest thief...'. =)

“一步难，一步佳......难一步，佳一步......”

人生不就是这样？

(Photo by Holga 135BC loaded with Lomo X-Pro 100, cross processed.)

make a wish, make a wish.

make a wish, make a wish.

any wishes in your mind now?

may all your wishes come true! :)

(Photo by LC-A+ loaded with Fuji Velvia 100F, cross processed.)

recent update.

on some kind of major mood swings recently.
aiks.
car got knocked and the fella just ran off like that.
the condition of my car isn't as bad as the accident happened 2 years back,
but i got really pissed off by the uncivilized guys.
WNR 2676 was the car, with 3 uncivilized chinese guys. please do me a favor, pray for them to be safe on the road, because i always believe in karma.

oh well, sunway construction offered me an internship position.
but i rejected. because menara sunway is just so far away.
i kno i might sound stupid for rejecting such a great offer, but still, what to do?
i chose to spare more time for my family and friends before im off to UK.

haven't really picked up something to do during the summer.
definitely not working like last summer again, lol. i need some really good rests. :)
current plan is to have a major cleanup for my wardrobe, mommy said i should give away my old clothes to the charity.
next, i would really wanna have a lomowall in my room. my room is quite plain still, so i really wan a lomowall. XD
next, i would really really really like to do lotsa lotsa lotsa shopping.


last but not least. to spend more time with you. :)


oh ya, didn't i tell you that i just permed my hair? i think i look like an aunty now. but somebody says it's alright, so it's alright. HAHAHAHAHA.





p/s - 人们天生就懂得伪装。不是吗？别再用美丽的文字遮盖自己的过错了，我对自己说。哎。

(Photo by LC-A+ loaded with Fuji Astia 100, cross processed.)

p/s again - i miss my lomo cameras a lot suddenly. to all who are holding them, please take good care of them. :(

p/s again and again - true friends really last forever. aiks. lee soo huay, ter mei sim, ter mei mei and low yin yin, me miss u all so so so so so muchie!

goodbye 3 years.

days in The University of Nottingham, Malaysia Campus are in past tenses now.
3 years is the duration, of me studying in UNMC.
throughout these 3 years, i have really seen a lot, and learnt as much.
i have also gained a lot, but of course, there were losses as well.

dear all lecturers and friends, thank you for everything you've given me in these 3 years.
thanks for the supports, understanding, tolerances, guidances, patience etc etc etc.
you have changed me into a better person. :)

the probability of meeting somebody is like 1 over 6.8 billions,
hence, i believe it was fate which brought us together.

and now, these 3 years of my life in UNMC have came to an end.
the memories are priceless. how i wish to have enough memory to actually store them all, every single second of it.

it's always hard to say goodbye. :(

p/s - afterall, this blog post is applicable only if i get to transfer to the UK campus successfully next semester. hahaha.


(Photo taken by LC-A+, loaded with Kodak EBX 100, cross processed.)